my humble origins AKA a bit of a Bio. PART 1

I was born is sunny California in the early 80's, in some ways I had a totally idillic childhood - my parents, who are still together after like 40 years, provided a warm, supportive, and loving home. In other ways though, things were kinda rough. Growing up I always knew I was kinda different; for example I was pretty sure I was the only boy on the block whose ***** was molesting him, which kinda put a damper on my child-like wonderment. On the plus side though, I never had to lie about not being a virgin in high school (I know, making fun of molestation isn't healthy, but sometimes laughing is the only way to keep from crying). So basically I was a freaked out, traumatized, inverted little kid.

Flash to adolescence. I had all the usual sexuality confusions that are normal with development. I thought girls were really interesting but terribly intimidating. Middle school was s***y. I got bullied a lot; the other boys didn't like the shy, somewhat effeminate 13 year old who was kinda a train-wreck identity wise.

The summer between 7th and 8th grade (I was 13 going on 14) I started "dating" an older boy who lived a few blocks (he was 17, which I know is a bit dodgey) I thought he was really cool; he smoked, he had a car, he treated me not like shit. Anyways, we "dated" all summer and towards the end I started to have some pretty deep feelings for him and said so. He promised to stay in touch when he went away to college. But, I never really heard from him after he went away to school.

Well being all broke up about my shattered puppy-lovin' let down I confided in my fag-hag in training best friend - who promptly told everybody what was going on! In her defense, I don't think she thought what she was doing was that big of a deal. I think she thought pushing me out of the closet would help me out somehow. Anyways, long story short, 8th grade was MUCH worse then 7th.

But I learned to valuable lessons from the experience: 1). Guys often will do anything to get into a boy's/girl's/etc.'s pants! 2). NEVER kiss and tell!