A Serendipitous WTF Moment

Two blogs in one day! What gives you ask? Well I'll tell you. I'm sitting up contemplating why I have such horrible luck in my romantic life. Am I throwing myself a pity party? Maybe. Is my frustration justified? Perhaps (I'm not sure, really). What I do know, however, is that it's been a rough year.

In my personal life, I'd be the first to admit that I'm no angel, but sometimes I really have to wonder why things work out they way they do for me.

Last month I briefly spoke with a girl whom I thought was quite cool. However, as it turned out, she was not quite as she seemed. As can be the case in online correspondence, her physical appearance did not match the image she projected on the Internet. Does this make me a shallow A-hole beyond redemption? Perhaps. But from my perspective, if someone misleads through lack of forthright disclosure, it's a giant red flag about there mental model regarding themselves, the nature of subjectivity, and the truth. The whole incident also struck a chord with me in that it reminded me of a very unpleasant episode discussed here and here.

All of this is to say that I sometimes of the huge WTF moments where I wonder why I've been having such a impossible time finding a girlfriend who is not 1) cheating on someone with me 2) a former or current escort, or 3) emotionally more available than a house plant.

Objectively (and at the risk of sounding egotistical) I'm a catch. I'm smart in quantifiable ways; I'm genuinely sweet, compassionate, and one-of-kind in an extraordinary ways (not my words but those of the last girl I was romantically involved with when she shit canned me); I'm financially comfortable and, despite taking a full class load at the graduate level, I do volunteer work at a charity!

So what gives, am I an ugly troll? Are my standards unrealistic? Is there something of putting about me? All these rejections, set-backs, and disappointments are really starting to get to me.

When I examine what I'm looking for in someone is seems to me that my standards are pathetically low.

I'd like to date someone with higher education, but it's not a requirement. I'm usually physically attracted to women who are shorter or lighter than I am, but I've been know to date a tall girl or two in my day. As a matter of fact, the only two hard disqualifiers in my book are stupidity and insincerity.

I suppose that I do look for a certain level of what see as attractiveness in women, but I don't think it's "aesthetic gold digging" as a v-logger I like puts it, but I don't think it is unreasonable to desire attractiveness in a mate.

What I wonder is, am I too picky? Maybe I should just settle because, the loneliness I feel being single, is beginning to be intolerable. . .

Sigh,
- D