A word of warning

So, I was the victim of credit card fraud. What's even better is that VISA only caught it because a I made multipule (legit) charges at the same location within minutes (sometimes I'm a little scatter-brained). Although, to be fair, I didn't catch these bogus recurring charges on any of my statements either.

OK - lesion learned. check credit card statements more carefully.

How does this relate to the subject matter of my blog you ask?

The company that charged me is called epoch.com - they are a credit card processor (who are notorious for this). Epoch also charges cards under tons of other names.

Epoch is one of the main credit card processors for Groby Productions.

Groby Produces transsexual themed porn web sites and videos. So, because being a kinda average guy, and not being ashamed to admit that I sometimes look at dirty pictures on the internet that cater to my sexuality - I got totally ripped off!

So here's my word of warning; I have no idea if Groby is implicit in credit card fraud, however, Epoch.com is well documented as a bad apple. And, a simple google search reveals complaints of fraud by Epoch all over the internet. So, why would any honest business continue any connection with a known group of crooks? From what I understand, what happens is, Epoch often pays kick-backs to websites for continuing a business relationship with them - and the websites don't ask questions. This whole thing is fishy.

OK - lesion learned, don't expect exploitive internet smut peddlers to be anything other then sleazy and corrupt.


D.

A pox on both your houses!

Over time I've become aware of a emotional phenomenon that has occurred to many trans-women I've known. Although, I imagine it is not by all means universal, in my experience, it is startlingly common. I would say that a startling percentage of TS girls I've either known as friends, or dated, had highly pessimistic view of love and romance. It seems to me to be a probably natural "burn-out" response, which functions as a defense mechanism, and is brought on as a result of dealing with asshole guys.

In dealing with my own issues with depression, I have found that jaded complacency is a key enemy. The fatalistic cavalier attitude that one hold while in a depressive state is wrong, it does not create any constructive progress. Now I have no idea if this is even a fare comparison, but this is what I do know.

Seeing a person I care about suffering in such a way hurts. I wonder if they will ever heal from their wounds or will mistrust and emotional numbness consume them. It hurts when someone I'm in a relationship with, or want to be in a relationship with, has been so badly treated in th past that to prove my good intentions is near impossible. It hurts when I see friends sabotaging their relationships.

D.

Please forgive this incoherent ramble...

So, I had this fluffy dating up-date in mind tonight but, at this point, it feels so pointless and self-absorbed. Please forgive my lack of coherence.

I just read about the murder of Angie Zapata. I was sort of aware that it had happened, but I just read an article that specifically described how the crime occurred. The murder of any human being is is tragic, and I believe justice should be delivered mercilessly for ALL violent crimes.

In this case though, how can the retribution of mortal hands ever come close to justice? A split second "crime of passion" followed by a life-sentence as atonement - I see the logic, the fairness, possibility human redemption.

But to attack someone, methodically cover the tracks and then - when the victim survived the first attack by some slim chance - to deliver a killing blow on a defenseless unconcious victim, it defies all reason.

In my life I have seen the face of death. I grew up in Oakland, CA - a city that at times averaged more then a murder a day. I've known people who ended up homicide and suicide statistics. I have had friends who don't always disclose their TS status partners - which I refuse to pass judgment on. But, please everyone be careful, please everyone be careful, and please Saint Michael protect us from evil.

D.

Oh yeah, a big thanks to Riftgirl for plugging my blog on her AWESOME blog beingt.blogspot.com. Although, I bet all the people who are actually reading my blog found out about it from her.

But, if you haven't seen her stuff, do yourself a favor and check it out! She has cool essays, daily observations and fancy shiny videos that poke fun at everyone under the trans-community umbrella (I recommend her video "How to Seduce a T-Girl" - it's more funny then reading the Craig's List M4T "casual encounters" page!

D.

Wow, sometimes I just don't know what to say..

So, the subject came up with a friend about my specific sexuality/proclivity; she did a little Sherlock Holmesing on my myspace page and conected the dots to a past girlfriend's page via her comments on my page.

She was really very supportive and well-meaning in her discussion of the whole issue. However, the whole situation made me wonder about two things.

First, why is it that so many of us (myself included) feel the need to display our lives for the world to see on sites like facebook, myspace, frindster, or livejournel? I was thinking about it, and I have no idea why I even have a myspace account.

Secondly, while my friend was really well intentioned, she was also kinda hung-up on the trans issue. To her it seemed like my sexuality boiled down to the mechanics of genitalia. Which, in one sense I guess it does. But, on the other hand it is such an over simplification.

Now I'm not, nor do I claim to be at all, well versed in concepts of human sexuality or gender studies. But, Straight-n-narrow heterosexual people don't have there sexuality truncated into the basics of whether their partner has an "inie" or and "outie." So why should mine?

D.