The Lady in Red

The worlds oldest profession, being on the "game," sugar relationships, adult entertainment; by whatever name you call it, sex work tends to be a big elephant in the room in the trans community. Let me say this, for someone who's never paid for, or been paid for, sex, I know a GINOURMOUS amount about the topic (see this blog entry).

To be perfectly frank, my feelings on the commoditization of sex are complex. One the one had I hate, the institution of prostitution for what it does, in my experience, to those engaged in it. On the other hand I don't think it ought be illegal; I do, however, think that the conditions that lead people the conclusion that they have no other option ought absolutely be criminal!!!

That said, I unashamedly am a consumer of transsexual porn. Is this hypocritical? Perhaps. But, considering the relative scarcity of potential partners for exclusively trans-attracted males, we have little option to exercise healthy "desires" in our comparatively long periods of being single (that is in you're not/don't want to be Craig's List casual encounters bait, that is).

The exchange of sex as a commodity takes many form, escorting/"escorting," Walking the "track," Sugar-daddy/sugar-baby relationship, pornography, etc, all of which, in my experience are psychologically tough on those doing the selling. What I have also found is that just as the various forms sex takes are diverse, so are the people who engage is sex work.

M*******, my ex mentioned in the entry linked above, I think, is fairly typical of sex workers. She came from a highly dysfunctional and abusive broken home, from which she was kicked-out/ran away from in order to transition. She started engaging in sex work while homeless at 15. Eventually she ended up in foster care, but when she turned 18, she was on her own.

Despite being VERY smart, she was a highscool drop-out and by 19, when we met, she was a full-time sex worker - and still is to this day. To my mind, circumstance left her with little choice. Sure...she could work at McDonalds...but how would one fund transition doing that?

M********'s story is, I guess, what people expect to hear about sex workers, but there is flipside, that, I think, is really controversial to talk about, but actually quite common.

I've also known surprisingly a lot of highly educated women who've engaged in the sex trade on what I call an "emergency" basis. I corresponded with and went on several (real) dates with a girl named V*****, who had bachelor's degree in fashion marketing. Because of her trans-status, should couldn't find work in the back office, and was employed seasonally part-time/full-time a department store as a sales associate. Similarly, another friend of mine, who is a grad student, also escorts, to some degree, for the same exact reasons as V*****. The reality is, there are poor employment opportunities for transgender women - even those with higher education!

The bottom line is, our society doesn't offer much in the way of a safety net for the those in need it. So, considering that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there, is it surprising t-girls do what they have to do to get by?

D.