Here's my main observation about online dating, which is important since the vast majority of the dating interplay between men and trans-women takes place in a "e-mantic" context.
People, by and large, do not treat those they meet online the same way they do those they meet "organically." People often seem to take a view that, since the connection was made online, the usual rules of courtesy don't apply and the connection between the two parties is somehow of less value so as to be disposable. After all, it is fairly easy to strike up a conversation with someone online; little real effort actually needs to be put into meeting someone. In this way, meeting someone online is much more akin to meeting someone in a club or bar.
It seems to me that if someone is introduced as a friend of a friend we naturally expect (and show) a certain level of automatic courtesy and respect. After all, if you're super douchey to a friend's friend, you'll likely get called out on it. But, in the social consequence free semi-anonymity of online dating, people often behave terribly to each other.
The fundamental root of this phenomenon, as I see it, is that as with so much in this age of the text message, we are becoming increasingly alienated from, and lacking in empathy for, each other.
So people, don't be d-bags to those you meet online . . . the person on the other end of that text message, IM, email, or dating site PM is a real person too!
- D
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